Recent days have been spent in sadness and disbelief.
Grandma Su, the family matriarch, passed away quickly and without warning, with
the rest of us having no chance to have one last conversation. That last bit is
the cut that hurts the most. However, there are a few life lessons, both
serious and humorous, learned from her that help temper the pain.
- When you’re proud of your kids, shout it from
the rooftops. Be that parent.
- Don’t be rushed away from a good meal. Enjoy it.
Especially dessert.
- As much as it may drive your family crazy,
accept your mortality as you grow older and let your loved ones know. Don’t let
the subject be taboo. For me, at least, I accepted it along with her and it
makes this a little bit easier.
- Likewise, be grateful for every minute you draw
breath. I couldn’t count on all my fingers and toes the amount of times I heard
how happy she was to live past the ripe old age of 76, let alone how overjoyed
she was to live long enough to meet her first great-grandchild.
- When you see a talent in someone, something they
enjoy, don’t stop
nagging encouraging them until they make it a goal
they pursue.
- Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Just remember
there is such a thing as TMI. Please.
- Save the cardboard tubes from wrapping paper.
The twenty minutes two brothers spend beating the sh*t out of each other with
them will be the best twenty minutes they have all week.
- Keep up with current technology. You try explaining
how to create a shutterfly photo book to a woman who, up until a few months
ago, took all her pictures with disposable cameras and thought an email address
told people where you lived. (And, yes, kids, there existed a time when you were limited to just two or three dozen shots and had
to look through a viewfinder, not a screen, to take a picture.)
- When you appreciate something someone does, don’t
keep it a secret. Let them know.
- Tell your grandkids stories about their dad (or
mom). The incriminating stories are the best kind.
- Watch football.
- Giving someone your time for long conversations
is showing them your love. Your voice will be one of the things they remember
most after you’re gone.
The coming holidays will be hard. Birthdays without gaudy, overly decorated envelopes for cards won't be the same. Grandma Su, you're missed. Don't worry, though, you will be remembered.