Daddy the Adventurer

I wrote most of this post back in January but never published it. The craziness of my life caught up with me and blogging just fell by the wayside. Life is still crazy, but I think the occasional blog post is good for me.

With no further delay, I bring you Daddy the Adventurer.

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Something has been on my mind for the last few weeks, something significant, and I thought I'd share.

I've always had adventure on the brain. When I was little, snowstorms were blizzards in the arctic and a four foot deep hole in the backyard was an archaeological dig (I'm sure my parents loved that one). A stick was a machete I used to chop through thick jungle brush and a sleeping bag transformed into a spaceship that took me deep into the unknown. Once I hit middle school, a map of the Appalachian Trail hung on one wall and a topographical map of Mount Everest on another. They were goals.

Then I grew up a bit and started going on real-life adventures--like hiking the mountains of Fiji and New Hampshire and kayaking the waterways of upstate New York and off the coast of Maine. I loved it.

 

A few months ago I started a post like this one and got a bit down right around this point in my reminiscing. My adventurous life and dreams of long trails and tall mountains were gone. Something best forgotten about. I love my life with my wife and my daughter and they're worth all of it. Still, though, I left behind a large part of myself and kind of missed it.

My friend Phil, world traveler extraordinaire, came to visit at the end of November on his annual trip around the world and regaled us with tales of his many adventures. Bit by bit, story by story, I grew less and less jealous of his life and my pride and confidence as a family man grew. He alternates his time between living in Alaska and travelling the world. Ten years ago I would have given everything I owned to live like that.


Now I would trade the adventurous lifestyle I had idolized for so long for just one day with my wife and my daughter. There's no contest.
 

But getting married and having kids doesn't need to mean that new dads and moms should forget who they were. We're still that person...there's just more to us now. We take who we were and mix that in with who we need to be for our families and we prioritize our time. If something's important, you'll make (not find) time for it.

I still want adventure and I do need it from time to time, but running off and hiking for weeks through the mountains? No thanks. If I left today for a month I could miss my daughter's first full sentence. I'd go to sleep in a hut to the sounds of snoring men instead of in my own bed, next to my wife. A few days away from time to time to climb a mountain or two is all I need. I don't really want any more than that.

There's nothing hazy about my priorities.

We've all got different identities, different roles. Father, mother, teacher, brother, sister, etc, etc, etc. I see myself first and foremost as Craig the family man. I like getting Amy flowers and playing in the park with Norah. I'm going to grow old with my wife and go on daddy-daughter dates for the rest of my life and that's what I want.

Okay, I'll probably end up going on short backpacking trips in Scotland and on the Pacific Crest Trail, but the hope is that Norah wants to come. That counts as a daddy-daughter date.

But you know what? If she has no desire to carry a pack for days on end--okay, I was going to say we could do something else, but I'd carry her stuff for her. Well, if she doesn't want to travel or walk for miles and miles or spend weekends rock climbing then that's okay.Whatever she's into, I'll cheer her on. And Amy and I will keep travelling until we're old and grey, always up for new experiences to add to the life story.